In truly disturbing news – a reboot of Footloose will soon to be toe-tapping its way to a cinema screen near you. Although I’m not a huge fan of the 1984 original, it did stake its place in movie history. This Footloose, on the other hand, looks like it needs a stake through the heart. And, judging by the the trailer below, the film will be little more than torturous, cliche-ridden, nonsense (breathe, James, breathe!).

Footloose appears to have ticked every ‘Hollywood Safe – Bad Reboot’ box: Take the original story and set it in modern day – Check!, Add a modern twist to an outdated message – Check!, Use actors that look similar to their original counterparts – Check!, Redo the song so it sounds just like the original – Check!, Throw in some over-the-hill but recognisable B-grade actors to bolster the cast of unknowns – Check!

Sorry Dennis (Quaid), I don’t mean to talk about you in that way because I do really like you as an actor – but fella, what were you thinking?!?

What really made me wince though was the reason given for why kids get banned from ‘doing their thing’. Apparently, dancing increases the road toll. Huh???

Ok, enough bagging the movie. As much as I’d rather spend 90+ minutes watching highlights from the first round of the World Amateur Morris Dancing Championships on ESPN than I would watch Footloose on the big screen, I am most certainly not the intended audience. And the film does have a great writer/director in Craig Brewer (Hustle and Flow, Black Snake Moan) so there is still hope for it yet. Footloose will probably be a mega-hit and go on to make a boat-load of money. But from me, it’s a real shame Hollywood had to go there (sigh!).

Here’s the trailer:

Here’s the official plot synopsis:

Writer/Director Craig Brewer delivers a new take of the beloved 1984 classic film, “Footloose.” Ren MacCormack (played by newcomer Kenny Wormald) is transplanted from Boston to the small southern town of Bomont where he experiences a heavy dose of culture shock. A few years prior, the community was rocked by a tragic accident that killed five teenagers after a night out and Bomont’s local councilmen and the beloved Reverend Shaw Moore (Dennis Quaid) responded by implementing ordinances that prohibit loud music and dancing. Not one to bow to the status quo, Ren challenges the ban, revitalizing the town and falling in love with the minister’s troubled daughter Ariel (Julianne Hough) in the process.

Alongside the cast mentioned above, Footloose stars Ziah Colon, Ray McKinnon (The Blind Side), Miles Teller (Rabbit Hole) and Andie MacDowell (Four Weddings and a Funeral).

Of the reasonably rare number of films that come to New Zealand before the US, this had to be one of them. Footloose opens here on 6 October, and in the States on 14 October.

Are you a fan of the original film? Should this film have been made? What’s your favourite dance flick?